Barbie's turning 50 and I have a few suggestions for her....

Granny came over to eat with us the other night, and TB talked her into staying a while to play Barbies. Fun. I so loved my barbies when I was a little girl. And to be honest, I've been a bit upset at times because I thought TB didn't really care much for hers. However, that is far from the truth. They can still provide hours of excitement....much to her brothers dismay.


All you moms out there will probably agree....Have you ever noticed how Barbie's hair really only looks good for a few minutes out of her package? It's like the humidity in the real world does a number on her golden locks. They should ship her out with a bottle of conditioner in the box! Please don't tell me it's just our neglect of Barbie's beautiful mane......don't you have this problem too?

And then, to top it off, she apparently doesn't eat her veggies or take her vitamins religiously, because when you try to brush the tangles....her hair starts falling out in clumps. Now what kind of role model is that? She should also come with a bowl of broccoli in hand. Of course, I guess that isn't very clever marketing---nobody really wants a broccoli eating Barbie.

Except maybe a vegan. And only then if she also carries a miniature bottle of Beano in her pink vinyl purse!!


While I have the attention of Mattel.... could you please create a realistic Ken? You know in real life Ken doesn't wear a tye-dyed peace t-shirt with yellow sunshades.....and what in the world is up with the "man-purse" carry-all bag he hoists over his shoulder? I know for a fact Barbie disapproves of him toting it on their dates at the ice cream parlor and the pet shop.

After several minutes of exhausting herself trying to set up a proper photo shoot.....TB called me in to take a gander at her dolls she and Granny had dressed. I noticed something right off.....here at our house, minus the man-purse, Ken's living the high life....3 gals to his left, 3 gals to his right.

Don't they look just lovely....all dressed up in their finest for a night on the town. Ken the ladies man, if he'd just get rid of the peace tye-dyed t-shirt. He soooo doesn't fit in with these glamour gals.

And then reality hit hard, here at our house. No matter how many times you put on your fancy, sparkly, glittery clothes, there's always going to be some drama that occurs before the night ends.

And that's when Granny pulled this headless wonder from the pile of Barbies waiting to get dressed.


Those crazy Barbie hating brothers strike again. Now, why in the world would they want to decapitate Barbie? What has she ever done to them? Do you have ones that look like this at your house??? Is this a bad sign of things to come??? Somebody check the baby dolls, they may be next.

Deep conditioning scalp treatments I can handle, or at the very least, we can break out some of that detangle spray and spritz her frizzy hair down. Buyin Ken some new clothes and trashing the man bag, I can also handle.

But fabricating her head and sculpting her face is not in my bag of tricks, so you boys better start finding the head that goes to this body. Or else.

~~Signed, Mom--chairman of the committee to keep Barbie's head attached to her body.