When you have a kidney infection....LAUGHTER is not the best medicine.

• It hurts to laugh. I get tickled at something a visitor has said. I get tickled at something one of the staff does. I get tickled at making sure my tinkle hits the bucket because I am on morphine and delirious from staring at the same blue wall and gold privacy curtain for 3 whole days. And my only accessory to match this lovely snap together mint green gown is a shiny silver hat rack with fluid bags hanging from the top.

Not the way a girl wants to go out in public, you know? So, instead of crying at it all, I tend to laugh. Humor usually suits me. But not recently. When I laugh, even a small chuckle, breath deep or sometimes just breathing shallow, my kidneys, back, ribs, neck and head hurt. So, last night I had a few girlfriends in the room, overlapping in their visits. And I laughed. And it hurt and felt good at the same time. Because, really that's how life is....you take the good with the bad, because you really want the good. And the bad, it only lasts a while, but the good.....those are memories that stay forever.

• Now, I want to give you a little insight to a few of the ladies who have been my caregivers at some shift or another. Their names will be changed for confidentiality. However, the names I make up for them, may be related to their real names, or not. Basically I'm about to talk about some women and some of it may not be nice, so just in case it happens to be your great uncle's ex-girlfriend's daughter's best friend that sang in choir with you back in middle school or whatever.....maybe you won't figure it out. Although I seriously doubt anyone who reads this blog was ever in choir. :) Don't laugh, it hurts the kidneys.

~~~Venice = she's such a lovely gal. And a night owl....a woman after my own heart. She is also the fastest draw with a morphine shot this side of the Mississippi. And she always presents with a smile on her face.....REGARDLESS. And she wanted to hear about my kids...so she got bonus points.

~~~Periwinkle = she does not represent the nice hue her name expresses. Which is sad to me because I love periwinkle, it's one of my favorite colors. But she was far from a favorite. She sassed my momma. For no reason, except she's rude. And I do not like rude people. In fact, I thought part of this job was to be a care giver.......care is dead to her, I assure you of that. And after she sassed my momma, and really, who sasses a grey haired grandmother?....well, Temple made an attempt to defer the conversation and mediate, trying to express what mom was asking about, and she sassed Temple. Now folks, I don't care if I have two bum kidneys or not, I was mere inches away from coming up out of my white sheets and knocking her out with my IV pole....and sadly it was within my first 8 hours of being here. The Lord decided to bless me and my prayer to not hurt anyone in the hospital while I'm here on vacation----I've not seen Periwinkle's name on my board since Monday. Ha. God loves me, he really loves me.

~~~Lizzie = she was just like a grandma. and might I say she gets bonus points because she was the ONLY one who filled me an ice bucket--not the pink pitcher for water--but a bucket of ice and filled it with those juice buckets, all flavors, and a can drink. She rocks for that reason alone. Plus, she called me baby. 'aw, baby, how you feeling today?', and when I did finally have a break down late Wednesday afternoon she knelt by my bed and said 'aw, baby, why you cryin'---you better quit cryin', you gonna make me cry, i can't watch that no mo'.

~~~Andi = let me tell y'all about this little gal....she's a student nurse. She was brought in today by her very beautiful instructor, who I'll call Miss America, because I told her that's what she looked like to me. Anyway, she was just there to hang a new bag of antibiotics, attach them to my fluid drip and carry on. Well, luckily, she's a very observative little gal, because she noticed that my IV site on my arm was swollen. Hard as a rock, tight, and a little painful to the touch. So, of course her instructor said well, we'll need to set-up another IV site. She sat down on the bed to begin. I put my hand on her leg and said "Andi, have you started an IV before?". I know it's wrong, but I had to, for my own sanity. Of course she had, or else she lied, either way, I believed her, took a deep breath and looked away. Andi did a fast, and SUPERB job. Kudos to her and her intravenous skills. Then she ripped all 42 pieces of tape off my old site and I wanted to cuss out loud! :)

~~~JOHN = Yes, I know I said I was only going to talk about ladies, but I have to mention him. I must give props to a young man, who has to be only 20, who can walk into a room and ask me about my bowel movements like he's asking me if I saw Hines Ward play in the Super Bowl. DO NOT LAUGH.....it hurts.

• Okay, I'm stepping off my soapbox. On to more important news. It does appear that I get to go home tomorrow, or today, whenever you are reading this....Thursday. Unless something strange happens tonight, Dr. Sheppard said he would be releasing me. I have had no fever today, thank you Lord. Although, my face has been flush since Tuesday evening. I do look like I've been on vacation, if you can get past the greasy hair and see this sun-kissed face. Anyway, it's getting better, the redness of the face, not the oily hair. I CANNOT wait to take a shower. Bathing yourself with a small plastic tub and washcloths is not the same. It's just not the same.

Now, get ready for this news......Temple came for a brief visit with me yesterday afternooon, between work meetings and school board meetings. After which he returned to mom and dad's house to see the kids and eat supper with all of them. While he was there, Walt was showing him his artwork, talking about school, etc.etc. and all of the sudden he complained of a bad pain in his stomach. So much so, that he buckled his knees and fell to the floor crying. Temple went through the routine of questions...."do you need to throw-up, do you need to poopie, when did you poopie last?". None of that was it. So he called our cousin, who is also our pediatrician. She said, although she hated it, she would have to suggest he bring him on down to the ER just in case it was his appendix. I won't give you a long story because I do not know it....lucky you. I didn't even know they were here......which is the way Temple had planned it. MY BABY BLOND BOY WAS DOWNSTAIRS, SICK IN THE ER, AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!! Temple knew I'd show up, dragging my IV pole behind me as soon as I heard. And let me tell you....he was dead on. Good call, T-5, straight up, good call.

I found out all of this at 6:50 am today....when Temple and Walt strolled, rather groggily into my room. They stayed all of 4 minutes because Temple had not slept. They got to the ER around 9 pm and were called back at 2 am to a room and then seen by a doctor at 4:40 am. Walt had blood work, urine sample, and x-rays. Nothing showed up. They said the medicine he is on for strep could have caused him the stomach pain because he didn't have any food on his stomach when he took it. So, he was released. And went home and slept at Granny's (Mom). While poor Temple took a quick cat nap and then off to work again. Bless his precious sweet heart.....pray for him, please. I know he is exhausted. And he doesn't even have a shot of morphine in his future. And pray for Walt too. He seemed fine tonight. He went to gymnastics and was all smiles.

Now for the greatest news of all, ever, in the whole lifetime of great news......ALL THREE OF THOSE LITTLE BEINGS I GAVE BIRTH TO CAME TO SEE ME THIS EVENING AND GAVE ME BIG BEAR HUGS. That is even better than morphine. They should bag up some fluid therapy full of sweet children love......the world would be a better place.

I gotta scoot. I'm pressing my luck being on here late two nights in a row. But just let me say, I was just delivered some graham crackers and one of those mini spreads of peanut butter for a little bedtime snack (which is way better than chicken broth).....and I am smiling so big. It has been one heck of a week, at the House of Bowling, but I'm telling you, things are looking up. You know the bible says this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. So, let me tell you I am rejoicing......hugs from my kids (gosh I miss them so much), a yummy snack, and Periwinkle's name still hasn't shown up on my board. Life is good. Y'all have a blessed night!