Meet The Press..........

Let me introduce you to my latest necklace for this fashion season. Oh, see the pretty color of paper, and that nylon cording and the whole Non-Transferrable boldness of it all......you are jealous. Admit it......You know it.

So, I've been keeping another secret from y'all.....and it does not involve me appearing on an episode of Jerry Springer....thankfully. :) No, that's how people brought about reveals in the 80's or 90's.........we've turned another century since then.....now, they lay it all out on you tube and BLOGGER .....so here it goes.........

.......the secret.......... I've been moonlighting. And you didn't even know it. Don't you feel violated in some way? I mean really....I go from not working since being conceived in 1972 to the point of holding down MULTIPLE jobs. All of which still only encompasses about 10 hours of a work week. So, basically, it takes me a month to create a 40-hour work week. That's so sad. I won't be able to draw social security if my life depends on it.

• My night job? I've been pretending to be a sports photographer on Friday nights. And apparently I can still function quite well in the pretend world (the voices inside my head help out a lot)........the newspaper person asked me to keep doing it for several weeks in a row. And they published my photos in the paper. With my name attached. Aren't you simply amazed? Me too.

I have this friend at the paper, an actual (as opposed to pretend like myself) sports writer and photographer, who asked me to fill in for him the last few games, as photographer. And why did he choose me? Basically, because he had no other options, and he saw that I owned my own camera. Big whoop. Owning a camera doesn't mean you know how to use it. I offer myself as exhibit A in that argument.

• But, I did try my best. I had lots of fun. And I enjoyed the sideline view. It's different from being in the stands (in case you didn't already know that little tidbit). But let me say, just becuase I am closer to the action, in no way does that help me figure out what's going on, or who's position is what, or any of that. I did, however, find out a lot about the fact that referees are retards. No offense if you happen to be a referee. But it appeared to me at some moments, that they knew less about the game than I did. That would be a whole other post though....and sadly, I do not have time to waste about zebra officials. Sadly. It's just my own personal policy.

So, because people NEVER look at the by lines on the photos in the paper.......I have scathed by without being noticed. Until now, when I decided to let the whole internet in on the secret. So, let's try to keep it just between the few of us, okay? And if you see me wielding my press pass around like an emmy.....just ignore me.....I'm in my pretend world....having a grand time listening to the voices in my head....who happen to think that blurry pictures of half-bodies of football players with red eyes and after the action has passed shots are FANTASTIC. I love those voices in my head. They are my heroes.

• And in due time....I plan on showing you a few of those fancy photos that were put into print......and I may even show you the ones that Sports Illustrated wanted, but I declined their offer. I cannot work a full load.....I mean, I am pushing my max with the 10 hours I've been putting in........so SI, get off my back already.