Sadie's version of the FELINE FIASCO of '08

Once upon a time.....

..... there was a beautiful Labrador named Sadie....who lived out in the woods with a nice family, who had children who played heartily with her, a mother who doted on her, and a father who bank rolled her expensive vet bills. All was well in the land of dog.

• Until one dark blustery night, quite out of the blue, the family arrived home with this dreaded creature.....

Sadie: "What?.....Have you people lost your mind?......THAT, my human friends, is nothing less than a CAT.....a wolf in sheeps clothing, if you will. What in tarnation possesed you to bring such a filthy animal into THIS house?.....throw it out with the morning trash, and I won't have to bother with even getting up...thankyouverymuch."

Sadie: "Seriously, you're actually considering letting Tyner Beth keep THAT thing?"

Sadie: " Nah, you're just joking around, right? I get it, a little canine/feline humor, jokes on Sadie....I get it, that's a good one....now get rid of the rodent."

Later on in the story........
........They all settle down for a good night's rest in hopes that the new dawn will bring about new attitudes for everyone. "Mr. Jingles" is confined to the bathroom and "Sadie" is confined to the laundry room. And only one creature at a time can be let out to roam the humble abode at will.


However, the masters decide that some serious acclimation procedures have to be introduced. And thus, a cage is bought for Mr. Jingles. Who is then brought out from his holding cell (the half bath) and put in the cage in the middle of the bedroom floor. Then very carefully, we release the beast from the laundry room and stand back, waiting for the knockout punch of round 1.

Mr. Jingles: "Help, Help....there's a giant dog sniffing my cage!!!"

Sadie: "So, let me get this straight. Now you want me to pretend like I don't want to eat it because it's behind bars?...You humans are just too much."

Sadie: "I know, I'll use my laser green eyes and sear right through that pesky little cage...."

Sadie: "See, I knew it......his butt stinks......move. him. out."

Mr. Jingles: "Watch out DAWG.....as soon as my parole pardon comes through, I'm coming after you and your limp-legged self......it's really no fun taking down a 3-legged dog, where's the challenge?"

Sadie: "Come on, Mom, enough is enough.....let him out of the cage. I just want to play with him."

Sadie: "Listen here, little man, ask yourself this question...."do you really wanna piece of me?"

Sadie: "You little pipsqueak. That litle claw through the cage trick ain't gonna work on me. I am so. over. you.! But let me tell you one thing.....if they ever, I mean EVER let you out.....you better run like the wind, cause eye-liner drag kittens just happen to be my favorite Yuletide snack."

Mom: "Sadie.....Sadie girl.....look at the camera."

Sadie: "Mom, just go away. I can't take it anymore. I don't know who you people are anymore. I thought it was different between us, I thought what we had was special.....but I guess I was wrong. Things just aren't the same and I need some time to think things through."

Sadie: "Oh, Lord, be still my soul, I can't take much more. It's torture.....no, I'll tell you what it is...it's cat hell on earth. I think I'm gonna have to lay down for a long winter's nap....and maybe, just maybe, IT will be gone when I open my eyes from slumber. Tell Santa to bring on the visions of sugarplums to dance in my head....I need a diversion from all these cat nightmares."

• Just wake me when IT chokes on a hairball.