In a faraway land there once lived a cat......

I am going to give my best effort at making this story short, because there is another version of the tale that will soon be told, by our dog.

While in Tennessee this weekend, Aunt Elizabeth and Tyner Beth concocted a plan for Tyner Beth to meet a 6 month old kitten. As it seems, a friend of Aunt Elizabeth had rescued this cat a few weeks ago from the town square. It had been bitten by a dog. Please make a mental note of that....it had been bitten by a dog. Got it. Good. Now let's continue.....

Aunt Elizabeth arranges for a "preview" of the feline......and the friend plans to bring him over for a visit with Tyner Beth. A meet and greet, if you will. Only, the friend can't make it over on Saturday, so, the friend comes to Nana's Christmas Open House around 4:00 on Sunday afternoon. Aunt Elizabeth isn't there because she is finishing up at the matinee of The Nutcracker. But, we call her to come on over, A.S.A.P. (Believe me, that abbreviation has NEVER been more true since it's existence.)

Did you know for YEARS Tyner Beth has wanted a cat. For years, people. And she's only been alive for seven. And did you know that we have turned her down....on several occasions. In fact, we have turned down her aunt and uncles, friends and other family relatives that have tried to give her a cat, buy her a cat, offer a birthday or christmas gift as such, etc. etc........

I even think on one occasion, while trick or treating, a friend put one in her candy bag. Which we promptly threw back into their yard before departing. Thanks, friend.

You see, we have a rule......a ONE PET at a time rule. It was brought about for many reasons, to name a few.....because a) Rivers wanted a hamster once.....not happening, b) Walt wanted a ferret once.....not happening, and c) Tyner Beth always wants a puppy or kitten.....again, not happening. And the rule is even more in effect right now, because Sadie is a jealous canine. She loves people, and is friendly to them. But doesn't make friends so easily with others in the animal world. That's an understatement. Let's just cut to the chase here........she doesn't make friends with them, because there is no time. She eats them.

It's what she does. We live in the woods, she chases, captures, hunts, and often kills the animals that live in the neighboring woods. She has left us countless prizes outside the front and back doors of her chipmunks & rabbits. She has certainly put a dent in their population. I honestly don't know how the Easter Bunny has survived.

Sadie is also very territorial. She doesn't really want to give up her time with the family. And anything that cuts into that time, well, they have to pay the consequences. So, therefore, for all these reasons, and more, we invoke the ONE PET AT A TIME RULE. Below, I give you photos from this grueling "preview" session....where sadly we had to invoke the rule, yet again.

Tyner Beth...stroking the cute kitty.

Here she is informing me of how he must be our cat because.....hello????, his collar matches our guest bedroom. Yes, I bet you too, have always wanted a cat with a collar that matched your guest bedroom. And this is how decisions should be made. On the matching color of a collar. Please.

And, here she is pleading her case over with Mimi.....who, by the way, was actually on her side too. Mimi informed Temple and I that she was a "cat connisseur"....and this was an absolutely wonderful cat. Not only was it good natured, but just the cutest thing ever. "Why, just look at that face, it's the cutest thing ever, he looks like he has eye-liner on." Great.....just what we need. A cat who dresses in drag.

And here is where the bubble was burst, the party was over, the gig was up.......right about the moment that Temple said he was afraid Sadie would kill the kitty if we take him home. So therefore, the answer is no. Not a real stern NO, but more of a slightly subdued, sympathetic no. But, just like your momma always said, NO or no, means No.

Let the crying commence. So, she cried. And clearly, her heart was broken over the feline fiasco of '08. But, in my mind, I'm thinking......thank you Lord for allowing Temple the good mind to know we don't need a cat at the house.....despite what heart strings are pulled, sometimes, you just have to be the adult and put your foot down. Hard. And it breaks some hearts. But they mend.

And then, for what seemed like hours---oh, wait, it was hours, everyone kept talking about it. Saying things out loud like:

• "I've never seen anyone who wanted a cat more than Tyner Beth."
• "Every little girl should have a cat in their lifetime"
• "He is such a good kitten, look how he lets you just hold him like a baby"
• "And he just purrs like a motor all the time"
• "And he's the CUTEST little thing ever"
• "Look at his marking on his legs, his tail, his face, etc"
• "You would never find another cat that was this good again"
• And at one point in the evening, Mimi, Temple's 83 year old grandmother, looked him square in the face and without a drop of sarcasm said....."I'm sorry Temple, I know we aren't helping matters, but you just really don't stand a chance."

The honesty you get to bestow on situations when you turn 83 is astounding. I cannot wait for that age. :)



So, after 2 hours of mulling over the idea.....going over the rules in our head....accessing the situation from EVERY standpoint known to our family dynamics and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that we DO NOT NEED A CAT...... mysteriously, after loading the car, and packing up some delicious leftover goodies from Nana's kitchen.....I heard Temple shout, "okay, my little, you can have the cat"


.......we came home from Tennessee with a 6 month old kitten, a bag of litter, a litter box, a bag of food, a food and water bowl, a kitty house, a kitty toy, a wellness book and various and sundry other items all packed neatly in the bag from the very gracious friend of Aunt Elizabeth.



There it is in a nutshell. It was a lot of drama. Did I mention that neither Temple nor myself have a real fondness to cats....even cute eye-liner drag queen kittens?

In the words of Yoda.....a cat lover, I am not. Okay, so maybe Yoda has never said that, but I bet he would....especially if some clone or sith was trying to coerce him into bringing a cat into his Jedi force.

• However.....here is a definite CAT LOVER.

So, we have a cat to add to the mix. His name is "Mr. Jingles". And we traded in the "matching guest bedroom collar" for a nice blue one with a jingle bell on it. Because, 'tis the season. And although I am no cat lover, I am certainly no grinch.

Tyner Beth is in hog, or rather kitty cat, heaven. And we are praying that "Mr. Jingles" doesn't have to go to the real cat heaven anytime soon. Sadie is needing therapy worse than anyone, as you can imagine. We are trying our hardest to acclimate the two of them to each other and keep the peace. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. We've called in the experts, and used the resources of the internet.......but, really, it's a big dog vs. a small cat. You do the math.

Did I ever tell all of you that Tyner Beth's name is really Tyner ELIZABETH. I'm sure you could have figured that out all on your own. But did you know she has a namesake. Wanna guess who? Her Aunt Elizabeth. We used that name on her birth certificate for the character it would give our daughter, the story she would have to tell her grandchildren one day about her wonderful, sweetheart of an Aunt, her Daddy's only sister, that she was named after. Because we love Aunt Elizabeth that much. Or loved her that much at one time.....back in 2001 when I gave birth. Back in the land of NO CATS.

I called the courthouse earlier and did you know that you can have your name changed for like $20 bucks. So, what sounds well with Tyner? :)